american horror story: talking to people u used to be friends with
girls dont want you to be nice to them because they’re girls they want you to be nice to them because they’re human beings and you should be nice to everyone wtf is wrong with you
*cuddles up close to you* *puts my mouth by your ear* I NEED CONSTANT REASSURANCE THAT YOU STILL ENJOY ME AND FIND OUR RELATIONSHIP APPEALING
What do you call a man who is short, speaks in rhymes, and is able to spin straw into gold?
No really I’m not joking here, he’s coming for my firstborn in three days and I need to figure out his name.